This week on an all new "2 Broke Girls" season 5 continues with an episode titled, "And the Attack of the Killer Apartment." At the start of the show Caroline gives a customer their check and says she's sorry about the entire diner experience. The customer is a massage therapist who offers her a free massage in place of a tip. Moments later Han asks a question about the healthy menu he is working on and jokes with Caroline, asking if the stress of acting like she works is getting to her. Caroline ignores him and enjoys the massage, eventually gasping and moaning with the joy of her pain being relieved.

Max and Caroline prepare to open the dessert bar

Caroline calls a staff meeting, but Han quickly says only he can call a staff meeting.

It's about the dessert bar, Caroline says, and she begins discussing all the tasks she has asked diner employees to help her with. Earl was asked about his relative who is a liquor distributor and he says he owes him money and a kidney and hasn't contacted him. Max says she hasn't done her thing either and tells Oleg they need to save all their movie money and can't afford to hire real help. Oleg, who knows someone at City Hall, is in charge of helping the girls obtain their liquor license, but hasn’t gotten it yet because of his sexual deviancy got in the way and his connection told him not to sneak into her home.

Caroline asks Max to get her lawyer boyfriend to help

Max is still seeing Randy, who shows up at the diner. He says hello to Earl and they make a joke about Twitter. Earl thought he was writing an email to his brother, but instead sent out a tweet regarding Sizzler running out of Sprite.

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Randy asks about staying at Max’s apartment because the hotel is a fantasy world. Max agrees and jokes about the carbon monoxide levels at her apartment, which she calls a slum. Caroline jokes about a crack addict that's usually in the kitchen. Randy eventually steps on a nail, named Nail Patrick Harris, and has to go to the hospital, but not before drenching Caroline in his blood to the point that she looks like Carrie after a bucket of pig blood was dropped on her head.

Randy, Caroline and Max go to the hospital

While at the hospital, Caroline asks Randy to look at their liquor license application. Max is upset that Caroline would ask such a thing. Back at the apartment, Randy has an IV of antibiotics, but no Vicodin for the pain, which is disappointing to Max. Caroline and Max have to work a shift at the Diner and Randy says he’ll be fine at the apartment alone and once had a timeshare with Sean Penn. At the diner Max worries she didn’t tell Randy about the pothole in her bedroom and Caroline tells her to relax.

Han shows up and chastises the girls for barely working and Max takes a phone call from Randy. He called the landlord about the nail and Max and Caroline freak out because they're not officially on the lease and illegally subletting and now are about to be kicked out of their apartment. They rush home to see what they can grab before they have to abandon their home.

Randy just wants a better life for Max

Randy tells Max that she doesn't have to live like she is in their awful apartment and she retorts that it’s like she’s in a relationship with her high school guidance counselor again. She says they ignore things around the apartment, like the rain in her room. Randy answers the door when the landlord shows up and yells at him for all the illegal wiring, the gas leak and tells him that he's a lawyer who was injured on his property, which works things out quickly. Randy tells the girls he got them two months of free rent and they’re now officially on the lease. Max thanks Randy before he goes back to his hotel, but not before Max hammers in the nail and Randy tells Max he loves her and she says I love you back. It turns out Randy filled out their liquor license paperwork and Caroline tells him she loves him too. They end the episode with the same amount of money as last week, $250,072.00.