Actress, author, and radio personality Jenny McCarthy is known for being sassy and sexy, yet she has spent years hiding a dark secret that she says nearly killed her. The blonde bombshell, who is currently married to Blue Bloods star and former New Kids On The Block member Donnie Wahlberg, says she was previously in a horrible four-year relationship that shook her to her very core.

Manipulation and horror

McCarthy, who got her start on the MTV series Singled Out, says that before she married Wahlberg, an unnamed ex-boyfriend often manipulated and verbally abused her, causing her to feel “worthless, disgusting and talent-less.” She admits that she never thought she would be in such a horrific situation because she considered herself to be "strong and confident."

She spoke to E!

News about the situation at a recent beauty event, saying that during the relationship, her mind slowly became controlled by what he thought of her and things he would say.

She went on to say that she no longer had “her own thoughts” and it took her a long time to decide enough was enough finally.

Becoming free and finding (self) love

She credits “self-love” and taking responsibility for her actions as motivation for finally leaving the situation she was in, saying she chose to “be powerful, not powerless.” She adds that she finally realized that it wasn't anyone's job but her own to love herself, which finally gave her the power and motivation to break up with her ex and move on with her life.

This attitude and way of thinking finally allowed her to open herself up to true love and meeting her husband, whom she began dating in 2013 and married in 2014.

She admits it is something she had prayed for and that things finally fell into place once she realized she deserved a loving, healthy relationship and didn't have to settle for anything less. Once she came to this revelation, she met Wahlberg and ultimately fell in love.

She is also the mother of 14-year-old Evan Asher, whom she shares with her first husband, John Asher.