Kamiyah Mobley was a child kidnap victim but she had no idea that she had been taken from a Florida hospital when she was just eight hours old. People can assume that now she has been found after the cold case was reopened, and her DNA matched to her genetic family, that everything will be just hunky-dory and we like to imagine tearful and joyful reunion scenes.Reality is that this is a critical bridge building time for the ripped apart family.
Kamiyah Mobley and her family - how will they cope with the trauma of the kidnapping?
For Kamiya, who lived under a false name for eighteen years of her life, the shock of discovering that her "mother" Gloria Williams, 51, has been arrested and will be charged - possibly facing up to life in jail will be devastating.
After all, she has spent her entire life being shaped by someone who is not her family at all. In effect, Kamiyah will come to realize through a painful process that she was never a true part of the family she grew up with - as she, in reality, was a prisoner to her captor.
The loss of kidnapped child changes the dynamics of the bereaved family
The theft of a baby will cause so much trauma to the family involved. According to Georgia K. Hilgeman, M.A.the retired Executive Director and Founder of Vanished Children's Alliance, "The left-behind family members, which include the parent(s), siblings, stepparents, step and half-siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and others, will suffer" the trauma.
There will be the toys and the baby clothes left behind to mock the family as they hope with all their hearts that their baby will be found. There are the terrible anniversary days of the birth of the child, the missed Christmases, the lost joy of the first day at school. Worse than that, there will be the bad imaginations, the desperate hope that wherever the child is, that they are not being abused, suffering pain, hunger or even death.
The stress on the family is enormous and can change the dynamics of all the individuals involved. In some instances, if there are brothers and sisters, they become neglected in the parents frantic rush to find the missing one. Family life becomes focussed on the child that is not there - rather than on the children that are there and hunger for attention.
How and when do the family reconnect?
According to ABC7 New York, Sheriff Mike Williams said that the Mobley family is "rejoining," but that the way forward, and how they will reconnect with their missing daughter is up to them. They are, after all, all victims. A young woman has to meet people who are essentially strangers, and the family has to meet and try and get to know a complete stranger too. There is not always a happy ending. Time referred to Tina Walsh of Zucker Hillside Hospital in New Hyde Park on abduction cases, and concluded that the child emerges (as an adult) into an entirely different world when they suddenly discover that they are a "different person to yourself." On the California Child Abduction Task Force website, they say that the family recovery time is critical and that "a trained facilitator should assist with the family and child's reunion." There will be a lot of stress for everyone involved and privacy is essential.
The media can best help the family by giving them some space.
The woman who posed as a nurse and walked out of the hospital with the baby Mobley and then made her live a lie under a false name will be punished by society and probably will do jail time, but the devastating effects of hers crime on Kamiyah and her family will take a long time to heal. However, the human spirit is resilient. We can only hope that with understanding, and professional services that they can heal.
