If your marriage just took a hit from the old trust bust or Affair, your marriage is not lost. Many couples go through an affair and think it's "The end of the road Jack." Don't get caught by this worldly made standard. Not all marriages that encounter an affair are doomed. In fact, most are probably going through the biggest test possible. But, you will come out stronger than any other marriage out there. Marriage today is no longer a bond. It has simply become an agreement, that if you do then I do. Marriage was never intended for this type of standard, instead, it was intended to be a joining of souls.

That means the deepest, darkest parts of you, become one. It is kind of like mixing Salt And Pepper. When they are separate it is easy to distinguish one from another. But, when mixed together the thought of trying to separate them becomes a long lost dream. If you take these tips and apply them to your marriage. You are guaranteed to see results. Just don't get too caught up, and do something like this couple tattoo.

The insecurity will sever that deepest connection

Insecurity is a disease that if allowed to grow in a relationship, will choke out all signs of life. After an affair, a partner can easily become consumed in a fire of insecurity. There is always the question, "What was not good enough about me?" There is only one answer to this.

When this thought comes, just think of one thing that makes your partner the best adventure that has ever happened to you. Good and bad do not mix. By filling your mind with good, you leave no room for bad to dwell. What you don't realize is that by dwelling on your insecurities, you create a new bad trait for your spouse to dislike.

By thinking about what you love about them, you create a new positive trait for them to love about you. It is not the end of the world, so get that out of your head!

You're not going to make your relationship perfect

That's right, your relationship is not going to be perfect. Even though, you have thought up a thousand things that are going to be the magic ticket to wonderland.

There is no, and will never be a relationship that is perfect. Leave Cinderella dreams to your children. If your partner was in their affair for any length of time, they most likely realized every green cow pasture is the same. For a nice term, they are all full of cow crap. By trying to make your relationship perfect, you will both fade away. Because, your relationship becomes filled with failures, and missed goals. This is a hard thing to recognize yourself doing, but as you read this I'm sure you are thinking of some pretty recent times that this fits the puzzle.

Don't become the dead partner

I know where your mind goes when you read the headline for this paragraph, but don't worry. I am talking figuratively.

Naturally, after an affair, we try to just block out all of our feelings. This is because you've been hurt. You have to fight hard against this. Because, if you're not careful, you will become what I call the "Dead Partner." A dead partner is a spouse who instead of dealing with the issues in the marriage turn into an obsessive hobby freak, or they will start volunteering to work every hour they can. A dead partner becomes a robot around the family and blocks out any kind of feelings that have the potential to cause them pain. These are all things that will corrode your marriage, and leave you soulless. Because once we have found our true love there will never be the same again. I know that is completely against everything you've been taught, but you married that person for a reason. That reason was that your souls had the ability to unite. Once they did, well you mix the salt and pepper together. I would bet you'll have a new problem on your hands when your spouse gets home.
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