Lamar Odom, also known as The Candy Man of NBA, held no bars in his autobiographical post where he recalled how Drug Addiction had dragged him off to the lowest point of his life. The former hotshot even narrated how cocaine almost killed him in the past.

Of his struggle with drug addiction and anxiety

In his essay, titled "Done in the Dark," Lamar Odom confessed that he got admitted and even fell into the coma due to the drug overdose. His doctors even told him that he was lucky to be alive and considered his case a miracle. "At that point in my life, I was doing coke every day. Pretty much every second of free time that I had, I was doing coke.

I couldn’t control it," he wrote in his The Players' Tribune contribution.

The former NBA star said that the incident had opened his eyes to the things he has done wrong and made him realize the importance of his loved ones, particularly his grandmother, who has stood by him while he was fighting his demons. "I think of all the sneaky shit I tried to get away with. All the times I did wrong. All the stuff I tried to hide. If it’s not in the public light, it’s in God’s light," Lamar Odom continued.

Coping with loss of loved ones

But despite his intention to change his life for the better, the professional basketball player later found himself trapped in the same place he wished to forget. The retired NBA player admitted he returned to his usual habit of doing cocaine when his mother and grandmother passed away.

The 37-year-old athlete said it helped him forget about his problems and anxiety for a while. Two years later, he received another bad news from his then-wife who called him while he was partying all night with his friends. Lamar Odom was informed that their six-month-old child has stopped breathing.

The doctors later pronounced Jayden dead due to infant death syndrome.

Although it has been over a decade since the unfortunate incident took place, the "Khloe & Lamar" star still thinks of his son up to this day. His sudden pained Lamar Odom who sought refuge in cocaine. Hence, his addiction got worse to the point that he found himself inside a motel with women he did not even know.

"I just wanted to get high with this girl, and I had no other place to go. I couldn’t take her home. You know, I was a scumbag," he said.

After he had gone through hell, Lamar Odom admitted that his kids, Lamar Jr. and Destiny, have inspired him to get help for his drug addiction. Now that he is sober, the former NBA hotshot realized sobriety is something he needs to fight every day of his life.

"I have an addiction. I’ll always have an addiction. It never goes away. I mean, I want to get high right now. But I know that I can’t if I want to be here for my children," he wrote.

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