Catelynn Lowell Baltierra is trying to celebrate nine years of history with the other girls of "Teen Mom," but it is hard to celebrate when she feels guilt over putting her and Tyler’s first daughter up for adoption.

People got a sneak peek at the OG episode that will be seen on Monday. It features a scene where Maci Bookout, Amber Portwood, and their husbands meet up with Catelynn and her husband, Tyler. At a barbecue in Puerto Rico, the sit back and chat about old times and new times. Catelynn Lowell Baltierra says wistfully, “One day I’ll have more kids.”

Catelynn and Maci both had postpartum depression

Tyler Baltierra is quick to remind her about how she struggled with postpartum depression.

As they play with the idea of having more kids, Tyler thinks this has to be a big factor in their decision.

Maci Bookout shares that she also experienced postpartum depression when she had Jayde. Bookout said it was easier to deal with the postpartum depression when she knew what it was and could admit it. Only then did she understand that it was ok. Maci says that it all felt different when she had Jayde, her second child, compared to when she had Bentley. She worried at first that she wouldn’t be able to love them both the same and that made her feel bad.

Catelynn gets emotion as they talk about Carly

Catelynn reveals that she had it when she had Carly, the first daughter that she and Tyler put up for adoption. She says that she didn’t even realize at the time that postpartum depression is what she was going through.

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Tyler and Catelynn then went on to talk about how hard it was to place their daughter for adoption. Catelynn says it would have been an easy decision to keep her and be selfish just because she wanted her. Tyler said the only thoughts in their mind was about Carly.

Catelyn became very emotional at that point and had to walk away from the group to get herself together. Tyler explained that talking about Carly bother Catelynn a lot and that she still feels a lot of guilt about the whole adoption thing.

He goes on to tell them that it is different when you’re only 16 and you put a child up for adoption but when you’re older and you have another child, you think about that first child that would be around seven or eight-years-old. “It just makes you question everything, you know?” Tyler said.

Catelynn and Tyler have certainly gone through a lot in their young years. On all that they have gone through, they've lived it all on camera. Can you imagine how much harder that must make it all? How do you feel about Catelynn admitting that she still felt guilty about putting her first daughter up for adoption?