This week "Family Guy" was brand new as season 14 continued with an episode titled, "The New Adventures of Old Tom." The plot was divided into two basic stories this week, the first revolving around Brian trying to win over the affection of a woman in a jewelry store and the second revolving around news anchor Tom Tucker who faced stiff competition by Dallas Portland, who all the women in Quahog were lusting after. What the episode lacked in overall cohesiveness it made up for with numerous one-liners and flashes of brilliantly dark humor.
Brian tries to impress a woman
Out with Stewie and the rest of the family at the Mall, Brian sees a woman he's attracted to in a jewelry shop and decides to exploit the 72 hour return policy by purchasing a $10,000 ring to impress her. He gets the woman's number and feels pretty good about himself. Later, at home, he puts the ring on the kitchen table where Chris thinks it's a lug nut and eats the ring because he's got issues with low self esteem. Brian and Stewie panic and the rest of the episode is spent feeding Chris foods that will help him pass the ring through his system. They eventually do get Chris to pass the ring right before the 72 hours is up, but it's a mess and the woman is disgusted by Brian for lying.
Peter gets left behind by Lois
Lois gets fed up with Peter when he's playing a video game in the mall. She leaves him behind and he gets stuck in the mall overnight where he decides to ride the train until the morning. Peter is interviewed the next day by Dallas Portland as a hero for surviving the night and he's shown as disfigured, suffering wind trauma from his hours going around in circles.
Lois sees the news and calls Bonnie and the two discuss the hot new anchor and ignore the fact Peter went through quite an ordeal at the mall.
Tom Tucker is sidelined by Dallas Portland
Peter spends much of the episode trying to make Tom hip and relevant so he can compete with Dallas Portland. Peter tells him that a skate video is the best method to achieve that goal and the two go through a series of stunts until a bear jumps out of nowhere and attacks Peter.
When Tom goes head to head with Dallas, and tattoos himself on air, he is fired and blames Peter for his demise. Tom attempts suicide by jumping off a roof, but Peter steps in and tells Tom to interview him instead so Tom seems like a hero for stopping Peter from jumping off the roof. The plan works and Tom gets his job back, but not before Peter accidentally pushes Tom off the roof and he lands safely on some innocent bystanders below.
