There are seven billion people in this world and you are expecting me to find my soulmate, my one twin flame. It is like Dory being lost in the ocean, turning corners, treading waters trying to find her home, the place where she belongs, her destiny.

Contemplating existentialism: Why are we here? What does it mean? Who are we as human beings? This is why I decided to write a blog offering a perspective from another part of the globe, hoping to resonate with the world. I am searching for my connection to the idealist romantic, hoping to be consumed by the ocean and finding a love so deep even the ocean would be jealous.

Qualities you may seek in another person

It works for some, however, it doesn’t work for others- monogamy, polygamy, different heritages. I sure as heck don’t want to be polyamorous. There are so many alternative paradigms of people and the ideal person. This set me on the journey of soul-searching, wondering where to look to find a relationship (yes the local club could be a start.) Big city, it’s local, surely that has to be a plus but then I am missing out on the six billion people of the world. Ok, so it isn’t like I have commitment phobia but how difficult is it to find the one person with the qualities you are seeking?

  • Loyalty
  • Respect
  • Commitment
  • Depth
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Passion
  • Compassion
  • Empathy

Going the distance

How hard is it to find a person who wants me for who I am - somebody willing to make me laugh and overall somebody compatible?

Here goes, I tried dating men, I tried dating women, growing up in a capitalist society with mainstream culture, trying to decide for myself whilst being bombarded with other people's social perceptions. It was difficult. Having tried the social scene and having exhausted all avenues (even fifth avenue), I started out on internet dating, however, this was not my aim.

I just wanted to be with a group of like-minded people who understood the woes of life. Having said that I met my dream, my future, my Soul Searching had been finally met or so I thought, the only problem is the distance.

So what is a long distance relationship and how does it make you feel? Long Distance is hard and I mean quite difficult.

There are time zone differences, making the day shorter which ultimately means less time with your partner, your afternoon is their evening and vice versa. What did it mean for me to be in a long distance relationship? It was spiritual heaven, which is the best way I can describe it. It was amazing but with the physical longing, holding the person close is what I miss. Therefore a deep yearning enters you and you begin on a path of soul searching, thinking nobody could be as perfect as this, with no faults. How does this even exist? Celebrations, birthdays, Christmas become more meaningful. There has to be a focus - focus on the bigger picture and plans need to be set, a date to see each other.

However, unfortunately, it did not work for me but the connection was surreal. You tend to share everything with your long distance partner the good, the bad and the ugly. However, the good times, thoughts and feelings you share seem to bypass any negative emotion you may have. The love is real and the love is worth waiting for. Yes, there is a person in the 6.5 billion people caring enough to take the weight off your shoulders whilst carrying boulders and still managing the time to make you comfortable and happy. Therefore I would recommend going the distance. However, be sure to put the time and the effort in required to make it work. You never know, throwing the net further afield may grant you a perfect catch.

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