We realize we are Emotionally dependent when our happiness or mood depends on other people. If we’re expecting someone’s message and it doesn’t arrive, our day can become a bad one. If someone’s attitude can ruin your day or you are not able to do anything without other people’s approval or comment, it’s time to work on it. In order to feel more in control of your life, you should face the problem and try to overcome it.

Be in charge of your own happiness

Giving others the responsibility to look after us emotionally is acceptable when we’re kids, our parents basically carry that load and it’s natural.

However, as we develop as individuals, we shouldn’t wait for others to make us feel alive, good or worthy. We should rely on ourselves. Take time to analyze your personality, see what causes good or bad reactions in you and practice to take care of yourself emotionally in situations where you would normally depend on others. For example, if you call a friend and want to see them every time you’re stressed, try finding another alternative for such situations, such as listening to meditation music or so.

Of course, humans are sociable beings and we need other people. Sharing your woes with others is great but people will not always be there for you so start today and take control of your emotions. Being needy can annoy others and also make you feel less worthy.

Are others obliged to look after our needs?

You sometimes texted your friends, they took hours to reply and you got mad? Someone wasn’t there for you when you needed them and that made you anxious?

This proves sometimes you feel it’s other people’s responsibility to always be there and take care of what you need here and now. Sure, true friends will be with you during your hardships but we sometimes exaggerate with interpreting the seriousness of the problem. What seems like the end of the world for us may seem like a minor issue to others and they won’t feel the need to try to help. Again, try analyzing what you mostly complain of and see if you’re just trying to get other people’s attention because you need them.

Nobody wants to feel like an emotional beggar and thinking that others must help you every time you need it is just not good for you.

Free yourself from childhood patterns

What we go through during our childhood can reflect on the type of person we become later. Our neediness may stem from the fact that we didn’t get enough attention or love from our parents so we try to compensate that later in life. Similarly, if we got used to getting a lot of it, we will continue having this need for other people’s approval, love and opinion. Explore your past, come to terms with it, forgive if there is something or someone to forgive and accept that you now live in the present and that you need to act accordingly.

Stop being impulsive

Emotional dependency can result in impulsive reactions if we don’t get what we’re looking for. Don’t make snap decisions or rude remarks when you’re angry or stressed, you might regret it later. Step back, take time to analyze the situation and think things through carefully. If you think negative feelings will go away if you shout, cry or snap at others, you are most probably wrong. That is just another proof you think other people can make those emotions go away. No, you are in charge of that. Be strong and think about it once again when you calm down.

Don’t idealize anyone or anything

Idealizing someone or something we want means we have expectations about them. If they do anything differently from that what we expected, it makes us disappointed. By thinking of them as a savior or an ideal, we again get too attached and think they will save us in a way and that they are responsible for our mood and happiness. Respect everyone as much as they deserve but don’t exaggerate and think a better thing or person will never happen to you again.

People need people, we are emotional creatures and we enjoy other people’s attention, love, and help. However, some people can’t handle others being too clingy and they may start avoiding such persons.

Take control of your emotions, let go of your expectations of people and work on finding ways to be your own savior.

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