Romantic relationships are healthy when things are good, but breakups can be very nasty, regardless of the reason for ending the Relationship. Two people can conclude that they don’t have the same perspective and that they don’t see a future together. Others can have a very toxic relationship and decide to separate for the common good. Whatever the reason, breakups aren’t easy, as you put an end to a habit and you need some time to pull yourself together. Do men and women deal with the same Emotions differently?

Losing the habit

When you spend so much time with a person, it’s normal that they become a habit and a normal part of your day.

You text and see each other every day, do fun things together and create memories. When all that comes to an end, it can be earth-shattering for many people. Many people need a relationship in order to be happy, and it’s a common stereotype that women tend to feel like this more than men.

Everyone enjoys companionship and, according to psychologist Melanie Schilling, many people derive self-esteem from being in a relationship. Those people, she says, feel identity conflict and a sense of loss when their relationship ends. According to her, men and women experience different types of loss during a Breakup. Some say that, during a relationship, women get connected to the person they’re with while men get used to the social status of being coupled-up.

What is socially acceptable?

It could be argued that it’s socially acceptable for women to be openly emotional and to share how they feel with others. This helps in the process of healing after a breakup, as you get to talk about your feelings and process them that way. Men, on the other hand, tend to think society will see them as weak and vulnerable if they show they’re hurt openly.

Although it might seem that women suffer more following a breakup, it is only because they show their emotions and don’t hide from the world. Men, however, tend to go into their metaphorical cave and suppress their feelings. They take up new hobbies, start a new relationship or go on a trip. While this may seem helpful in the beginning, it just postpones their period of grief.

Of course, we’re talking about relationships in which both partners deeply cared for each other. By the time men dwell on the emotions, women have already healed and moved on.

Same emotional turmoil, different ways of dealing with it

The bottom line is that both genders suffer and feel the loss after a breakup if they truly cared about their partner. The only difference is that women are mostly not ashamed to say they feel like a wreck, while men feel the pressure to man up and suppress their emotions. Society should teach men that it is okay for them to show they care and feel. Both genders should move on when they feel ready, not when other people tell them to. Give yourself as much time as you need to process the loss, acknowledge the negative emotions and work through them.
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