Hawaii Five-O” took a nostalgic trip back last week for a revisit of the gripping Season 9 premiere, complete with its appearance of Steve McGarrett's (Alex O'Loughlin) vengeful nemesis, Wo Fat, portrayed by Mark Dacascos. In that initial episode, even a vision of the adversary (from a sensory deprivation tank) is enough to bring physical torment to the Lt. Commander, but in the end, Danny (Scott Caan) comes through to pull his partner to safety, and be reminded that their eight years together feels like fifty.

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In this week's March 8 Episode 18 of Season 9, "Ai no i ka 'ape he mane'o no ko ka nuku" (He who Eats Ape is Bound to have his Mouth Itch), the storyline has lighter elements than the last few episodes, some laughs, eye candy, and a very familiar face, for Detective Williams. Dame Joan Collins stars as a celebrated romance novelist, Amanda Savage, who also happens to be Rachel’s mother. She is on the island to do a book signing for her latest novel, and Steve is quite willing to spend some time in her penthouse hotel suite, swigging champagne, and trading delightful conversation about his typical combat weaponry.

Steve (Alex O'Loughlin) takes Joan Collins' character for a very unexpected lunch on Hawaii Five-O. [Image source:TViQ-YouTube]
Steve (Alex O'Loughlin) takes Joan Collins' character for a very unexpected lunch on Hawaii Five-O. [Image source:TViQ-YouTube]

Daniel, on the other hand, still feels slighted as the “less than” son-in-law, and the swank isn’t worth his effort. It's delicious to see Collins on the small screen again, and the dashing crime-fighters in their best dress. The star is no stranger to writing books herself, like her late sister, Jackie Collins.

The rest of the team takes on traders of some wickedly-tampered-with steroids that lead to the death of a hopeful baseball player. He stands immovable and raging in the path of an 18-wheeler, and it's not long before Noelani (Kimee Balmilero) learns that his system was not only pumped with HGH and the usual steroids but also Pyrovalerone.

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The drug has a useful protocol in treating chronic fatigue syndrome but has a more deadly use for those always desiring a better body. Tani, Junior, and Adam (Meaghan Rath, Beulah Koale, and Ian Anthony Dale) know they have to stop the drug pipeline before more unwitting people die.

Swept off her feet and switching vials

As any “Hawaii Five-O” faithful viewer would expect, Amanda Savage is immediately taken with Commander McGarrett, and his charm is as intoxicating for her as the high-end champagne he is savoring.

Danny immediately notes that he is not offered the beverage, and he is still taking barbs about the past. Dame Collins looks pretty dang good for someone about to turn 86, and she handles her role with style, taking her protective gents on a shopping trip since her commercial airline has lost her bags. Steve is feeling no pain, but Danny is sensing the sting.

Lou (Chi McBride) tasks Tani and Junior to infiltrate the gym where the deceased player spent most of his time, and track the ringleaders of the drug distribution.

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For any fans wanting to enjoy some buff bodies, this was a treat. Tani shows her spirit when she takes over a booty-slimming class, and Junior masters most of the workout equipment available in the place. When one of the drug contacts, Derek (Brett Zimmerman) and more think they are going to offer Junior a beat-down for messing up their drug party, the honorable younger Navy seal pulls his cop card and treats Derek to an arrest.

Jerry (Jorge Garcia) sees on surveillance that the victim made his way to the men's locker room to snag vials of steroids, and Junior discovers that all the drug transactions are run through a contact named Moses Pacheo.

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Duke (Dennis Chun) is losing officers left and right just because of the arrival of police at Pacheo’s home, the suspect already under a steroid rage. Adam and Tani discover that the tainted gold top vials had been intended for personal use but accidentally were taken by the victim, Brad Chen. In the same search, the team discovers that bags of blood were also being stored, treated, and traded for money.

A corrupt doctor, Niles Werner (Juan Monsalvez) was trading in that contraband, and selling his snake oil treatments to anyone looking for a fountain of youth. When the team arrives to take down the phony physician, he injects Tani with a deadly substance, and Junior and Adam work to revive her with adrenaline.

An unexpected dinner and drink

Danny and Steve fulfill their duty in protecting Amanda, or “Mandy,” as she allows Steve to call her. Danny is subjected to the disdain of her daughter’s wedding day, recalling the Hackensack, New Jersey interpretation of class versus that of her Majesty. Steve tries to assuage Danny’s feelings of dismissal, declaring it as part of British demeanor, but he also tries to put in every good word for his partner.

When Amanda is famished after her afternoon with her public, Steve takes her to Kamekona’s shrimp truck for some true island flavor. Danny has enough of getting his feelings hurt, and takes his dinner to go. Steve relates how many times Danny has been there to save him, and declares that he doesn't know a better man, one whom he trusts with his life. The high-profile shift of duty was supposed to be the last in trade for the gift of the portion of Danny's liver, according to banter before introduction to the author.

In the evening, Danny is waiting to have a drink with his "buddy,” expecting Steve, when Amanda shows up. She admits that she took Steve's phone to send the message, knowing that Danny would not respond to a request from her. She explains that her feelings for Danny stem from memories of growing up hardly rich and having a father who had the same manner of telling his children he loved them as Danny but could never give her the dream of life that captivated her imagination for more. She also divulged that she knew about Rachel and Danny seeing each other again, and simply doesn't want her daughter to be hurt. She wants Danny to make a decision. A fonder reappearance of Collins as mother-in-law in the future would be nice.

The March 15 episode of “Hawaii Five-O” will be new for Season 9, but then several weeks will be interrupted by NCAA basketball for “March Madness.” That will leave just three episodes to finish Season 9. The police drama has been holding its own on Friday nights and is very likely to be picked up for Season 10, barring any behind-the-scenes drama. Ten full seasons of “ohana” would be a tremendous gift to fans

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