Erotica writing is all about crafting a story that connects with readers. Even though there is a happy couple, there's physical attraction and physical activities that happened between two or more people in this particular genre, you still have to create a story that makes sense and attracts people. One of the biggest misconceptions about erotica literature is that the stories are only about sex and about sexual activities. This is not the case, and you shouldn't feel like you need to write about sexual activity all the time. It's important to note that these kinds of stories are best when there is a connection to be made with readers.
In addition, there's a misconception that you need to be experienced in the sexual world. In other words, you should not be scared if you don't have that much sexual experience. Even though your own experiences can help you craft a story, it's important that you focus on the connections between the characters and the story you create. This scenes that are sexual in nature are secondary to the story you are trying to tell.
Can you take an expression from you on sex life?
Of course, you can take inspiration from your own Sex Life. Whether you have only had one partner or you are in a marriage where you swing on occasion, it doesn't matter. You can use your own experiences as inspiration and there are no rules as to how open and honest you have to be about your own Personal Life, compared to other genres where people write about what they know.
For example, a person may be the victim of a crime. This allows the person to write more clearly about the grief and emotions that the victim goes through during such a time. However, the person needs to add more to the story to create the full picture. They need to talk about the criminal offender, the circumstances of why this happened, and possibly fill the gaps with additional characters to make the story more intriguing.
It's the same for erotic literature, as one experience is not enough to write an entire novel. It would be better suited for a short story. For a novel, you can definitely draw inspiration from your own experiences or even those of your friends if you have some close friends that are willing to open up and talk to you about their experiences with a partner.
Setting the stage
You can change some of the information around when you draw experience and inspiration from your personal life. For example, maybe you are the kind of person who prefers to have the lights off when you're with somebody. Change it up and encourage your character to keep the lights on, for example. In addition, maybe you're the kind of person who prefers to talk about the emotions and the feelings of your characters when they are engaging in sexual acts, rather than on the description of the body parts. There are no rules so you can create your own as an author.
Have you ever drawn on your own experiences with crafting such a novel? Do you find that it is harder or easier to use your own experiences when coming up with new ideas?