More often than not, relationships are based on trust and respect. From those two pillars come other values such as patience, perseverance, hard work, and tolerance. It's these values that shape our attitude toward a relationship or a partner. But sometimes, we don't realize that we behave in ways that are in fact toxic for our partners, ourselves, and the relationship. So what exactly are these toxic habits and how can we avoid them? Here's a quick rundown.
1. Passive-aggressive behavior
Being passive-aggressive is a sign that you refuse to communicate your wants and needs properly.
Acting out or dropping hints in this manner is a lazy way to get your thoughts and your point across. It does not contribute to solving any existing problems in a relationship and instead fuels the annoyance or friction between you and your partner. Avoid this at all costs.
2. Keeping score
To others, a relationship may seem like a game, but in reality, it's not. While it does require hard work, it also requires cooperation. Best-selling author Andrew Ferebee told Inc. that keeping a relationship scorecard is a "surefire way to end up at a nasty breakup." Instead, he recommends communicating with one's partner if he or she is not "pulling their weight emotionally, financially, or with household responsibilities."
3. Failing to communicate properly
As with the previous two bullets, communication is the key to a prosperous relationship.
Being uncommunicative can lead to more problems down the road. It's important for both parties to understand each other through active communication. Life coach Kali Rogers told Bustle that when couples consistently avoid potential communication opportunities, they become complacent, which is not a good thing for two people in a relationship.
4. Too much co-dependence
No matter how strong your relationship is or how long you've been together, you both need alone time. You both need time to prioritize and focus on yourself—your personal goals, aspirations, and dreams. Ferebee said, "Co-dependence isn't healthy in any of its forms and even in a marriage, both partners need to have their own lives and their own time."
5. Criticizing
This again falls under the "communication" aspect of a relationship.
Being critical is sometimes communicating a thought in a negative way. It makes one appear as if he or she is attacking the other person. Be more non-critical so that your partner will better listen to what you have to say.
6. Having non-verbalized expectations
This is downright silly, as no one is ever a mind-reader. Communicate your expectations well, because these non-verbalized expectations will only lead to disappointment and even conflict.
7. Failing to listen
Apart from communicating your own thoughts well, you also have to learn how to listen. Remember, listen to understand, not just to respond.
Here you have the seven most common toxic relationship habits. Do you have any observations on your own relationships? What advice would you give?