Remember when comedian Jeff Foxworthy came out with his sets about how “you might be a redneck if…”? Any Group Of People could perhaps play this joke but one very large group of people, restaurant servers (from counter to fine dining, small city to big city,) just begs for it. Maybe it’s what they have to put up with – hungry people can be mean! – but it’s a subgroup of people who can all relate to one another, and often get an undeserved rep. As Trump's Department of Justice tries to take tips out of Server’s hands and put them into their employer’s (#tiptheft), here’s a little something for the restaurant servers out there.
You might be a server if…
- You’ve been yelled at over cheese. When it comes to cheese, people do not mess around. Either they want it and lots of it, or they want it nowhere near them. But heaven help a server who forgets and put it on the wrong person’s burger.
- You’ve run after someone because they took a signed copy. I always wonder if people really take the signed credit card slip by accident because it happens almost daily in most restaurants.
- You shout “Behind you!” to random strangers out in public. It’s a habit restaurant hard to break. But if you think about it, you’re just being safe.
- You pile your dirty dishes wherever you are. Another restaurant habit. The sight of disarray on a table makes you anxious.
- You cringe at the thought of Hot Water with lemon. It’s not a drink and yet, it takes an incredibly long time to prepare. Side note, don’t bring a tea bag to a restaurant and ask your server for a hot water with lemon. That’s just plain rude. Especially if there's hot tea on the menu.
- You can make your running look like a fast walk. Every server has been in the weeds and sometimes, you just have to run.
- You’ve been asked the world’s dumbest question. I know we’ve been raised to think no questions are stupid and while that may be true to some degree, there are some questions so mind-baffling foolish that it takes every fiber of a server’s being not to laugh or just walk away. True story – I was asked if there was chicken in the chicken Cesar salad.
- You sleep until noon. But hey, most servers don’t get home until midnight or past that so this one’s often taken out of context.
- You’ve worn clothes taken from your dirty laundry basket. Most servers have been caught without a clean uniform at one time or another. You do what you have to do.
- You know what a shift drink is. These do still exist, but they’re nowhere as easy to find as they once were for servers.
- You call in sick for a stomach ache. Servers are notorious for calling in sick. Yes, most are juggling multiple jobs but there is little a server won’t call in sick for.
- You have a four piece matching beer glass set from a popular beer company. And you didn’t pay for any of that restaurant glassware.
- You’ve eaten in a bathroom. I hate that this is true but at one time or another in a server’s career, you’ve done this.
- You’ve violated a health code at some time or another. Have you heard about those things? Breathing practically makes you violate one when working in a restaurant.
- You know how to fold napkins five different ways. It’s a learned restaurant skill that never leaves you. And it can impress at weddings.
The funny side of life
Life can be so serious. It's nice to have a laugh at ourselves now and then. Do you have any good stories to share that might indicate someone might be a server if...?
Share them with me in the comments section down below.
