As the victim of sexual abuse, I can speak with authority on what the experience does to a child. Abuse burns a hole in your heart that is never forgotten and it doesn't matter how many women dress in black and give beautiful speeches, the terror never goes away.

Weinstein dilemma

This year, the Golden Globes attempted to combine a party with the seriousness of the sexual assault allegations. The jokes were good, and most were dressed in black, honoring the victims of the Hollywood movie machine. Seth Rich commented, "Good evening ladies and remaining gentlemen.” I found it difficult to laugh.

As the audience stood and gave Oprah Winfrey a standing ovation, I couldn't help but admire her words yet wonder about the 14-year-old girl director Roman Polanski drugged and raped, or the women Weinstein abused. I understand that this year, the Golden Globes was a statement against men of Weinstein's ilk and presented a positive footnote going forward. Yet, I know, on a personal level, that the stain of abuse can never be scrubbed away with mere words.

“What I know for sure is speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. I’m especially proud and inspired by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to share their personal stories,” Oprah Winfrey said.

“For too long women have not been heard or believed if they dared to speak their truth to the power of those men, but their time is up.”

A presidential run

What Donald Trump has given us is a path to the presidency minus politics, a path Winfrey can hope to take if becoming the president is on her to-do list. She would bring an openness and curiosity to politics that we have never experienced.

Her kindness and generosity would reach out to people on both sides of the isle and possibly bring this country together.

But, there is a part of me that continues to wonder: Did Oprah Winfrey know about Weinstein? They were close, even friends, and of course it is possible no one ever told her about Weinstein and it is possible Weinstein wasn't interested in Winfrey as a conquest.

It appears that, as a predator, Weinstein focused his attention on the ingenue. Yet, there are many who say everyone knew. It would have been hard not to know. George Clooney claims there have been rumors about Weinstein’s predatory behavior for decades.

The crux is, no one will know for sure because if Oprah does know, she certainly isn't talking. But, if she did know, and she wants to run for president, she needs to say so now. Something like that appearing in the news stream during a presidential run would ruin her.

The specter of abuse

Abuse is a very personal experience and it ruins people's lives. Jokes are never appropriate and certainly not at the Golden Globes. Abuse is a deeply threaded bit of yarn that is demeaning and is mirrored in anxiety, fear, and mistrust.

The victim often lives with the memories quietly and it is rare when a person comes forward to name the perpetrator. By the time I did, the statute of limitations had run out, yet I found comfort in just naming the man to a person in authority. Somehow, it brought healing.