The first few weeks of a Break-up are like giving up a cigarette: you feel terrible and you need it back. We all are familiar with Einstein’s expression that time is relative. However, these Post break-up weeks feel neither like a second nor a year; they feel like a blur. Imagine you have been sucked into a black hole and were thrown into an inter-dimensional glimpse in the universe, where seconds run and stretch at the same time. Sometimes, the seconds go by really quickly, and sometimes they become slow-motion sequences. But how fast or slow do they go by exactly?

Well, I will show you.

They go by fast. One second, you two will be snuggling under the covers, the next you will hear the uttered words “I think we should stop. I don’t like who we are anymore,” and the next it will be just you under the covers. They go by slowly. “I think we should stop. I don’t like who we are anymore,” feels like an eternity stretching time to infinity. You wish you never heard them in the first place.

Is it worth fighting for?

Relationships are a challenge, but the best ones are worth fighting for. When faced with constant bickering, anger, and feelings of being not-cared-for, our thoughts become confused (as confused as a homeless man under house arrest). One side of us, the sensible one, brings up the red flags.

This side reminds us that we deserve better and that what we have right now with our partner, should have ceased existing long ago.

The other side, the hopeless romantic, knows that love needs patience and is difficult to achieve.

It knows that we cannot just give up when we believe there is something worth fighting for. There are moments in everyone’s relationships, where you come to a crossroads.

On one path, you go on with the same person by your side, despite all the difficulties you’ve been experiencing; on the other, there is you still marching on, but this time, you’re on your own. When both parties, choose the path of continuing the relationship or leaving it, it feels neither heavenly nor optimal, but when one leaves the other stranded behind, that most certainly does not feel right.

The thought we all secretly have

What gets people through tough breakups is friends, family, and a sense that not all is lost. What also helps us move on and heal, is the very selfish Thought of “They must be suffering too”. It might take a while longer to admit, but we all think it in some way or another. We do not wish it with malicious intentions, but rather a hurt pride. We know we are suffering because we can feel our tears, hear our thoughts, and see this person lingering in our minds.

What we do not see, is them. We will most likely never learn what they truly felt, thought, or experienced. And if we were to learn that they were okay immediately after and that they felt nothing like us, well that would just be too hard to swallow. We’d rather assume, they cried, they were sad, and they also fell asleep thinking about how it felt to hug us. We would much rather assume this instead.