Reality hits most Young People during their twenties as they realize others consider them adults, even if they don’t feel like that. Most people get their first job in this period and start living on their own; some even start their own families. There are many things young people realize in their twenties; they become more mature and get some of the first life wisdom thanks to what they go through in this period.
Some events leave a mark and hurt young people but they usually manage to draw some conclusions from that experience so they will know better next time.
When it comes to love and relationships, this is the time when most people learn the hard way that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, as movies tend to show.
Love is no fairytale
Movies and dramas often imperil thousands of people with unrealistic romantic expectations. Love and relationships seem ever so simple or sometimes complicated but still beautiful. The reality is different; life starts where romantic movies end with the happily ever after.
Love is what happens next: when we have already met someone, fallen in love, and then taken off rose-colored glasses. It’s when we realize the romance started fading and there is no understanding when we feel it hurts and when we need to figure out what things our partner does are acceptable or unacceptable to us.
It’s when we make exceptions only because it matters to our partner, even though it doesn’t matter to us.
Fairytales show that main protagonists fall in love, realize they can’t live without each other, and then everything is perfect, easy, and lovely. We don’t get to see what happens after that but it’s life that teaches us that it's the Compromise that moves us along, if the relationship is worth it.
Your partner can’t read your mind
Communication shouldn't be a problem in relationships. Your partner can’t know you’re hurt or offended, even if you think it’s more than obvious and easy to see. They won’t know what matters to you or what freaks you out unless you tell them. Communication includes listening to your partner carefully, clarifying everything that isn't clear, finding ways to solve problems and heal wounds.
Nobody is perfect, not even your soul mate
Partners tend to idealize each other in the beginning of the Relationship and then get disappointed when they see something that’s different from how they imagined it. It’s true we all have some criteria and expectations but we can’t blame anyone for not being who we want them to be. Love is about accepting someone for their flaws as well if these flaws are something you can live with. We need to love all of a person because all of their imperfections are a part of who they are.
Dependence is not love
Emotional dependence is a trap many fall into. We connect to our partner so strongly that we lose all of our independence and the ability to decide and act on our own.
Many people think they should do everything with their partner and give up on everything they don’t like or can’t be a part of. Partners aren’t literally our other halves and we all can and should learn to be independent people who are able to act on their own. Spending time with your partner should be the light in your life, but make sure you’ll be able to still feel alive once that light is turned off.
Actions speak louder than words
Many youngsters feel love is all about those three magical words. Those who are more mature realize that is not always the case. There are people who will claim to love you just like that but they’ll never do anything so you can feel it; others will not utter these words so easily but what they do for you will make you feel more loved than ever. Learn to read the clues and recognize the love in small everyday things.
