Mother's Day is right around the corner. I had completely forgotten it until a reminder popped up on my phone. Unfortunately, my mom isn't around right now.

This part of May can be a little difficult, both for kids without moms, and moms without kids. Here are some tips for approaching Mothers Day that might be helpful.

1) Write a letter

You don't have to send this letter, or you can, I'm not here to tell you what to do. It can be whatever you feel towards or about your mom. It could be to any woman important to you. If you are in the mood to write a positive letter, great!

Sending it might be a nice surprise for those involved.

If you have some angry and upset things to say, consider not sending it. Get those feelings out on a page. Use this day to settle out some of the feelings that you are having.

2) Think about you

Think about all the things that are great in the world because you are in it. Not because of your mom, but because a woman grew you in her body, and then blessed the world with you. Even if your relationship isn't great, even if you don't consider her your mom, she is your birth conduit. You used her body to come into this world, and now you are here. Now you get to surpass her.

3) Imagine how much better you'll do it

Now, you may feel sad, and not confident on a day that reminds you of someone who isn't around right now.

That's okay! It is okay. You can remember that you know what not to do now. You know how you can do it better. You were influenced, for good or bad, and now you have the power to make your own informed decisions because of that. You can make informed decisions about your life, in spite of things that happened to you before.

4) Enjoy yourself

If there is a Mother's Day tradition you know of, or have been part of, treat yourself. Take yourself out for brunch, or treat yourself to a small gift. Self-love is as important as loving others. You can still enjoy this day like it is any other day. Or like it is a day for you, instead of someone else. You are completely allowed to make this day about you.

Spend it how you want, with friends, by yourself, at the movies. The day is yours, enjoy it.

5) Be grateful

I know, wrong holiday, it's not Thanksgiving. You can still make note of the things you do have today, even if they don't include family. Or not a particular part of your family. If you have some family that you are in contact with, reach out to them today. If you enjoyed your time with your mom while you had it, reflect and be grateful for that. If you have a community now, separate from your family, revel in it. Be grateful that, at the very least, you have something today.

6) Reflect and be hopeful

This again can be personal. Taking some time to reflect on yourself and your feelings - both about this day and in general - is a good thing.

Think about and validate all your emotions. It's okay to feel what you are feeling, holidays, even minor ones, bring feelings. They bring up emotions, and sometimes things we don't want to deal with.

Even if the holidays are unpleasant now, be hopeful that one day they won't be. Look forward to a time when it won't matter what day of the calendar year it is. Or, look towards a time when you will meet the day with celebration and joy.

Whatever way you choose to approach this day, make it a good one. Even if the day isn't technically about you, you are still valid. You still deserve to feel the way you feel and to have a good day. You deserve to celebrate the 13th of May, no matter what celebrations may, or may not, fall upon it. Best of luck!
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