Trump derangement syndrome has taken many forms since the unlikely ascension of the mercurial businessman and former reality TV star to the presidency. For Lena Dunham, the actress, producer of the semi-pornographic HBO show “Girls,” and a bad writer, TDS has had an oddly beneficial result. The “soul crushing pain” of Trump’s election has given her the motivation to finally overcome her weight problem. She has been able to cut back on her intake of food and thus reduce to a healthy weight.
Of course, drama queen that she is, Dunham had to go on the Howard Stern show and complain about how distraught she was, according to Entertainment Weekly.
One would think that she would be thankful to the president for helping her overcome a problem that many people who have been unlucky enough to watch one of the many scenes in “Girls” in which she appears naked, usually engaged in unsettling, unhappy sex acts designed more to degrade than to titillate.
Of course, Dunham has a way to go in her makeover besides losing pounds of flab. Removing the tattoos would also be of help even though the procedure would be painful. “Girls” is going away, which will be a significant improvement to the quality of programming on HBO. Dunham should not be allowed to be in control of another show or movie. Her acting and writing career should be placed in the hands of professionals.
For instance, Dunham’s next gig should be a story arc on one of HBO’s great epics, “Game of Thrones.” The arc, of course, should end with her character’s grisly death, as payment for anyone who has had to sit through an episode of “Girls.” Then she should be forced to stretch herself as an actress. Instead of being typecast as a whiney millennial she should portray a religious conservative in a sympathetic manner (not, as is typical, a secret serial killer.) The role would force her to consider alternative points of view.
Next, the New Yorker and other periodicals should stop publishing her purple prose. Dunham should be assigned an editor who will teach her how to write with subtlety. Only when she has learned how to compose compelling prose should she be allowed to be in print.
Finally, Dunham should be assigned a personal trainer to build on her weight loss.
She should be kept on an exercise bike or a treadmill at least a half hour a day and to eat sensibly. A healthy body would work wonders for her attitude and might lead to the realization that her personal happiness should not depend on who is in the White House.
