There are Fake News Sites and there are really fake news sites. HillaryBeatTrump.org allows people who are still traumatized by the results of the election in the real world to read news stories from the alternate universe where Hillary Rodham Clinton is president. Unfortunately, none of the stories mention the reset button with ISIS, blaming a terrorist outrage in Santa Monica on a YouTube video, or the latest rape outrage perpetrated by First Dude Bill Clinton.
Instead we get gems like these:
- President Clinton greets Syrian refugees with cupcakes, compassion, and puppies
- Historic First: Male senators listen to female colleague in polite silence
- North Korea destroys ballistic missile stockpile, terrified by Clinton administration’s sensible foreign policy
- Putin goes two days without killing a journalist: Has he lost is mojo?
- Clinton raises taxes, Koch brothers flee America
Somehow, reading headlines such as these, one starts to wonder if the people purveying this site are not Hillary supporters but rather clever satirists poking fun at people who think that we lost out on Utopia when we passed over the Queen of Air and Darkness for the Orange Haired Overlord.
The subjects of many of the fake, alternate universe stories seem to have been more done in the spirit of fun than as a serious effort of alternate history. With that in mind, what would some real headlines be like from the Hillaryverse?
- First Dude rushed to the hospital after being hit on the head with a lamp by a female intern
- Texas secedes from the Union after President Clinton bans fossil fuels
- Meryl Streep to star as POTUS in a new Hollywood blockbuster: ‘The Woman in Charge’
- Donald Trump buys resort in Cuba, flees one step ahead of the law
- President Clinton awarded Nobel Peace Prize
Alight, maybe that last is a little far fetched. Whoever heard of awarding someone a Nobel who had not actually done anything?…
Still, the purveyors of the site may be on to something.
For people who have serious cases of trump Derangement Syndrome, knock them out and allow them to wake up in a hospital where the only news is from the Hillaryverse. Then they should be eased back gradually into the reality in which Hillary is a loser and Trump is triumphant over all. I nominate Lena Dunham as the first patient.
