Only two more weeks remain before NFL teams whittle their rosters to 53 players. Although the NFL has parity, most NFL headshrinkers, armchair quarterbacks and beer drinking fans know whichteams have no chance to play in a Super Bowl.So let’s make a quick breakdown of every NFL team and determinetheir chances of playing in the nextSuper Bowl.

Teams with no chance to play in the next Super Bowl

The Jets:Receivers Erik Decker and Brandon Marshall can each catch 100 passes per season.

The NFL, however, is a quarterback driven league. For now, the Jets have four “alleged” quarterbacks: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Christian Hackenberg, Bryce Petty, and Geno Smith. Instead of NFL quarterbacks, these four guys should open a law firm. For legal advice, call the office of Fitzpatrick, Hackenberg, Petty, and Smith.So Jets fans don’t have much in the quarterback department. But don’t worry Jets fans, you won't be alonein the NFL's crypt:

Browns: Once the season starts, they will remember they are the Browns.

Dolphins: Is John Beck still their quarterback?

Bills: Unless Jim Kelly returns, does it matter if the coaches are the Ryan brothers or theCorsican brothers?

Bears: IsAaron Rogers going to retire soon?

Lions: No Megatron? No Super Bowl for you Detroit!

49ers: Blaine Gabbert beat out a guy with a dead arm.

Jaguars: Jacksonville residents don’t care about the NFL. Guess what? Neither do the Jaguars.

Rams: No quarterback named Case has ever won a Super Bowl.

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Titans: Anotherseason of carrying Andrew Luck’s jock.

Eagles: Average at best

Chargers: Eli Manning and Joey Bosa would rather skip the NFL than play for the Chargers.

Falcons: Matty “Ice Water”

Bucs: Wasted a second-round pick on a kicker with stage fright

Saints: Remove the first initial

Bad luck keepsthese teams just short of playing in a Super Bowl

Houston Texans: In the past ten seasons, they have won two playoff games, which is more playoff wins than the Bengals, Browns, Jets, Lions, or Dolphins in the same span.The Texans just needed a quarterback not named Brian Hoyer.

Brock Osweiler is the man chosen to lead the Texans to a Super Bowl. And he has a Super Bowl ring, so he knows about winning.

Redskins: Captain Kirk, Jordan Reed, DJax, and Josh Doctson

Packers: Aaron Rogers (the name sounds familiar)

Colts: Andrew Luck is the Clint Eastwood of the NFL.

Bengals: The Dalton Gang: Andy, A.J., Gio, and A. Whitworth

Steelers: Antonio Brown has 23 touchdowns in the past two seasons and “Big Ben” ishis quarterback.

Cowboys: Tony Romo will do just enough to lose in the playoffs. Ezekiel Elliott will become Romo’s new best friend.

Giants: They live and die by Eli. If he’s on, they win. If not, they lose. It’s that simple.

Vikings: Adrian Peterson can still run the rock andTeddy Bridgewater is becoming a successful NFL quarterback.

Ravens: Never count Joe Flacco or John Harbaugh out of an NFL game.

Chiefs: Alex Smith is solid and players always give Andy Reid their best effort.

Raiders: GM Reggie McKenzie is bringing sexy back to the“Raider Nation."

Cardinals: Wiley vets like Larry Fitzgerald and Carson Palmer will keep the Cards competitive against the division’s bully—the Seattle Seahawks.

Did someone say Super Bowl Sunday?

Patriots: Even with Tom Brady missing four games to start the season, Bill Belichick is still their coach. If backup Jimmy Garoppolo can win at least two of his starts, the Patriots can win their division again. WhenBrady returns, Garoppolo’s arm will be sore from handing off the football.

Broncos: They still have last year’s defense and are stillthe defending champs. The only downfall could be if the team depends on Mark Sanchez to win games.

Panthers: Cam Newton has earned the love and respect of his teammates. They want to win games for him.

Seahawks: What can’t Russell Wilson do?

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