Jon Gosselin--formerly of "Jon & Kate Plus 8"--may have to pull a "Mrs. Doubtfire" and drop in on ex-wife Kate Gosselin and the kids. The ex-Reality TV dad is not too happy about how Kate (of "Kate Plus 8") is raising their twins and sextuplets without him. Gosselin wasn't consulted when Kate sent "problem kid" Collin Gosselin to live away from home. Gosselin is being painted the absent dad but says it's not his fault but Kate's. Mom Gosselin not only allowed but cheered her eldest girls Mady and Cara bashing their dad in a TV interview.

So what's the real story? A 2010 letter Kate wrote may explain why Collin is incognito and Jon doesn't see his children.

Jon Gosselin: absent parent or excluded dad?

Jon feels he's being kept from the kids. He doesn't know why Gosselin put Collin in a special school. Kate Gosselin says Jon is irresponsible and a game-player. So he may not have done much career-wise (a deejay not being the most lucrative profession). But then what work has Kate done since kids? A reality TV show, a few "Dancing with the Stars" episodes, a parenting book and extreme couponing.

And employment notwithstanding, court ordered visitation rights. So he was deemed fit enough to at least see the children. There's no restraining order or violations. Yet he's not even part of decisions involving the children, let alone getting to see them. Jon says he sees who mom sends--if they don't come, he doesn't have the money it would take to make her send them. If he is an absent parent, it's not by choice, he says.

Twins Mady and Cara parroting someone?

So there's something very wrong in the Gosselin households but who's responsible depends on who you talk to.The eldest two, twins Mady and Cara blamed their dad for ignoring them then admitted skipping visits and then blamed him for that. Mady and Cara called dad "insane" for suggesting the kids stay away or are kept away. Kate Gosselin vocally approved her daughters "self-advocating." But she may be the one who needs an advocate if she's violating custody orders.

Collin Gosselin: special needs or squeaky wheel sextuplet?

When Kate announced that Collin, at 12 was sent away to school for his special needs, it raised some eyebrows. She says he's learning to be "the best him he can be." But if Collin's needs areemotional, being away from home may be disastrous. Also very few schools beyond state-ordered juvenile detention centers board kids, even those with profound difficulties. Perhaps his "needs" are more behavioral?In her book "I Just Wanted You to Know"Gosselin wrote that Collin repeatedly challenged her authority. Now in puberty, he could be a rebellious (and perfectly normal) teen.

He may resent or complain about not seeing dad. Kate admits the divorce was difficult and is known for being a bit controlling. If she's keeping dad out of the loop it may very well come back to bite, not only with Jon but with Collin or the other children.

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