"Dancing With The Stars" contestants Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy managed to stay afloat after almost getting voted off the celebritydance competition. Some bizarre tutorials from Maks' pregnant girlfriend Peta Murgatroyd (a former DWTS winner herself) may have been the secret sauce, Murgatroyd advised techniques that put the balls in ballroom dancing and gives the term "cheek to cheek" a whole new meaning.

Amber Rose, Maksim Chmerkovskiy coital dance

While watching Amber Roseand Maks practice, Murgatroyd told Rose she needed to get more cuddly with Maksim and hisgenitals, His penis and testicles should touch her vaginawere the words used.

Funnily enough, Amber, who is the creator of the Slutwalk, was uncomfortable about doing the horizontal mamba vertical. Of course in ballroom dancing, couples don't have sex. But to the Philistine eye, they give a pretty good impression of it with all that bump and grind. The tango, rumba, salsa, and other Latin styles look like poetry in motion and copulation in progress (ergo, the reason many conservative religions ban "dirty dancing"). And Amber did say she planned to go into DWTS with a bang and wanted to do something shocking.

The gestalt in dirty dancing

So Victorians see sex in ballroom dance (they see everything as phallic, actually, even the handles of sugar bowls). But dance instructors see common sense in dancing "crotch to crotch" as it were. There's more to ballroom dancing than meets the eye. Choreographers insist that partnered Latin dancers get up close and personal. These are not the dances for distance--too much space between the partners leaves a lot of room for error.

If they don't move as one through those intricate steps, someone will get hurt (as DWTS dance competitor Maureen McCormick may have found if her rumored back injury is true). The way to achieve that perfect oneness is for dancers' bodies to be joined and not just in the arms or hands. Amber posted a picture of Chmerkovskiywith a heart-shaped sweat stain on his shirt which shows how much energy dancing requires, but also how much body heat a couple generates.

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