Click here for Part I.

After all, just like Hillary, Bill Clinton was different back in the 90s too. He was different in his approach, appearing on MTV as a smart new move. We really have Bill to thank for the presidents that followed him appearing more frequently on television networks and talk shows to be around the everyday American audiences. Bill also got extra star stickers for being the first mover and shaker president that acted hip and youthful, promoting a fun image that cha-changed in the votes. Too bad Bill Clinton’s image kind of turned out to be the real Bill Clinton because it seemed like a very bright political move before I realized the guy wasn’t just acting that way.

It wasn’t a strategically planned image campaign for him. It was just him. But he was likeable for a time. And as foreign as it sounds now, Hillary was popular then, too.

Hillary Clinton really does seem pretty foreign now to Americans

But now today she is just foreign. She such a self-elitist and so disassociated from regular Americans that defining her as a citizen seems off, but that could be because she isn’t totally human anymore. There’s no scientific word yet to classify her kind of organism yet but she no longer makes the homo sapiens cut. This is because humans have something called souls, and she’s obviously void of hers now, as Satan bought it off of her for the bargain basement price of one presidential election win as the return for Hillary.

Satan sure made out on that deal—I know one Hillary Clinton soul seems like it can’t be worth much and must have been a cheap sale, but realize Satan just got America to go right where he wants it. We’re right back down to his side of eternity with the bonus of control over America for Satan. After all, Hillary’s a pretty big fan and will actively demonstrate her respect through a celebrity type form of idolatry.

Hillary’s a big fan of his work. I mean, I’m guessing this is all really pretty obvious.

Because of the devil’s new soul acquisition, Hillary’s mutation began with the growth of her soul hole until it spontaneously combusted with radioactivity. We know at some point Hillary genetically mutated into an entity with a soul hole now filled with a well-known brownish, foul substance making her breath reek like some horrible incense Americans smell nationwide whenever she speaks.

And yes, for you incense buyers, it stinks worse than the black licorice kind that the idiotic incense makers keep redistributing into variety packs like some cruel joke. They must they know that people only use their vomit inducing odor by accident. And then run right to the bathroom. After all, that scent creates the same reaction as the soul-hole breath stench.

Classifying Hillary Clinton

Hillary might be non-human, but she’s no alien, no matter how suitable it seems to say she’s illegal, from outer space, or even (the most likely possibility) a beast from that place below purgatory that’s hot no matter what the time of year it is. (And that hot does not apply to her appearance).

After all, she embraces a lot of things Americans can’t stand, like the following:

The Clinton Foundation

No matter how deceptive Hillary is about the miniscule amount of money reaching needy causes, making a fake charity into a ploy to trick well-meaning donors in order to line her own pockets, all this equals thieving from those less fortunate with repulsive misrepresentation. Her manipulation there is about as revolting as syphilitic leaches with porous holes they can never fill bleeding out the contributions they just sucked out of their victimized, blindsided blood donors. Hey, that kind of reminds one of some nonsensical charitable foundation, doesn’t it? (And Hillary, your swanky housing and travel arrangements don’t count as needs, nor does the cursed pile of Jack Sparrow’s treasure you accumulated through a route I’d prefer not to know about and keep trying to write off as an expense and not a gain).

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