Nobody can argue that the 2016 Presidential Election is offering the nation a wide variety of first time occurrences, or what I like to call, “firsts.” This is the first time the nation has ever had a woman emerging as a candidate. It’s also the first time a major celebrity tycoon with no political experience was selected to lead a major party.

It’s also the first time Democratic Emails got hacked, exposing gossip regarding poor exchanges. The Democrats topped off their idiocy with a total lack of intelligence about cybersecurity. All this happened while they pretended to be the party that tries to act “hip” and “tech savvy.” Whoops.

It’s the first time since Brown vs. the Board of Education a Presidential hopeful sounds like he might restart new types of racist segregation plans. How very modern, forward thinking, and educated that is. It’s also the first time a candidate’s speeches could be watched on TV and appear politically undecipherable yet realistically resemble an episode of the Jerry Springer Show.

And what about the possible first spouses? Whoever wins, whether it’s the lady from the very non tech-savvy party of posers, or it’s the rich guy taking his political speech directions through a direct connection to Steve Wilkos, we’re in for something completely different.

Bill Clinton is our first contestant, potentially the very first “First Man”

First, there’s Bill Clinton, who would become the first “First Man” serving as the male spouse of the first female president. He’s a former President, which you would think would make him a great political asset and advisor.

You would think that, right? But really, come on. He’s Bill Clinton, people. Who do you think wears the pants in this relationship now, and who do you think did back in the 1990s when he was President? I’m pretty sure Hillary was actually, in a way, already President, and now she is just going after the credit.

Back when he was President, Bill was too busy looking at all the pretty ladies that visited the White House to work. And if he comes back to the White House, do you think he’ll be advising Hillary at all? Heck no, there’s too many hotties to check out when you live at the most impressive address in America. And he’s got a type, too. So don’t be showing up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and expect to turn his head if your BMI is less than 52%, ladies.

Melania Trump is the second possibility, perhaps the nation’s first stripper turned First Lady

Next, we have Melania Trump, an interesting, groundbreaking, somewhat not impressively skilled potential First Lady who is an attractive woman. When the First Lady's previous job experience reads “cashed in on looks via stripping” followed by “used looks to get a rich old guy," some might be jealous she was so desirable she could make a fortune by taking her clothes off.

To me it’s not a skill that prepares one effectively for the job of First Lady.

Basically, she’s a retired high-class, well-paid stripper. While her form of nudity is upscale, how many people really look at a stripper’s job application and think that she should grace the stage at the White House? Remember, she’s following in the footsteps of a classy, remarkable, educated womanthe nation respects -- Michelle Obama. Imagine her handlingthe Bob Woodruff Foundation. Chances are she’d wind up asking, “What’s the name of the guy again that started this charity?” and then, “Who the heck is Bob Woodruff?” Better yet is the image of her getting snickered at during a dinner with a foreign leader who can’t stop pulling up her nudie pictures on his phone to entertain himself for most of the evening.

And the next day. And probably, the day after that, too. Let’s just hope she doesn’t start taking off her clothes when the photographers start taking pictures of her at these functions.

So which one’s better, and which one’s worse? They are both just awful First Spouse choices. Thank goodness we don’t have to vote for these two and take responsibility for the winner.

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