Contrary to popular belief, Hillary Clinton has a little bit of country in her. I’m not quite sure how she can balance herself well when wearing such a large hat and handling a broomstick. Nor can I imagine how much a large belt buckle probably annoys her when she’s got that cauldron to deal with. Regardless, she’s been able to figure out how to handle it while at the same time trying to insert some kind of tracking device into her husband again since his birthday just rolled around. Hillary must be as good at multitasking as she is at talking about anything other than the truth.

Hillary speaks of the old parties

For Bill Clinton’s most recent birthday, and to generate an image that she’s actually not as ridiculously dull as her speeches imply, she dug up an old throwback photo of her and Bill that depicts her in a costume as Dolly Parton during a previous Clinton theme party. She stated Bill used to like to surprise her on her birthday with them back when they were in the White House. Hillary even mentioned one-time Bill dressed up as James Madison, tights and all, an image I’m still trying to get out of my head and that I’m sorry I just burned into yours. Is this what we get to look forward to if the Clintons are back in the White House? Birthday theme parties? It’s not surprising that Bill would be into dress-up parties, but surprising Hillary with them?

So, that means she actually has friends?

We all know Bill probably does—but they’re more like special friends. And when he’s in need of making new special friends, a dress up theme party doesn’t seem like a bad place to do it—even if it’s his wife’s birthday. It actually sounds like a good way for him to, as the cliché goes, ‘kill two birds with one stone.” After all, he was president back them, so he had to compress his time somehow.

The photo Hillary distributed went out in an Email on Bill’s birthday with a message about their parties, and asking for campaign contributions, almost implying Bill wanted that for his birthday. Although I’m guessing he probably wrote something else on his birthday wish list but it’s not the kind of thing he’d show his wife.

Does Hillary really like country music?

Hillary, on the other hand, is not widely known for being a country music fan even after all that time in Arkansas. She commented once, smacking badly at Tammy Wynette, when Bill was being accused of pot smoking and adultery during his candidacy. She was asked if their marriage was arranged. It’s widely believed that her reactions to the rumors saved his candidacy, although looking back at it now, it shows you how apocryphal and hypocritical things can turn out to be. Hillary said she wasn’t “sitting here” like she was “some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.” Later, she apologized to Wynette, but her words stuck to her and later stuck it to her.

Oh, the irony. We know how the story goes. Sometime later, when Bill did come clean about his adultery, Hillary did exactly that—stood by her man.But given her track record with the things Hillary does and the things she says, is this really all that surprising? She never seemed to be able to keep Bill straight. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t enchanted by her anymore because her spells come out all wrong when she says them. Why? Since she’s lying basically anytime she’s speaking, being honest about the things she’s reading or talking about like her Emails, probably automatically get all mixed up with her latest lies.

The good news is that it’s not our problem—yet.

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