The Trump bandwagon lost the former parade of Republican floats that used to follow behind it, suffering at least three self-inflicted flat tires from Trump’s uncontrollable barbs in about three weeks’ time. Nobody can correctly install a filter in Trump’s brain and vocal chords to interrupt his thought to spoken word process (or lack thereof) dooming his campaign. His campaign manager, Paul Manafort, is reportedly frustrated with Trump. A Manafort source said Trump can’t take criticism, acts childlike, and spends most of his time watching TV, on the phone, or tweeting.

Here’s some of the reasons why Manafort should be congratulated for somehow still remaining sane:

  1. Trump went after the family of a deceased Gold Star soldier who lost his life in Iraq. After he “started it,” he then claimed like a toddler that the father of the fallen hero was saying bad things about him everywhere. (Melania finally put him on time out and took his Twitter account away)
  2. He stated that Barack Obama founded ISIS. Was this supposed to be an insult or a display of his brain power? Because I’m pretty sure that anybody who thinks that’s true needs to dragged out of the room and right back to preschool for some education.
  3. Reports emerged about his interest in nuclear weapons. Great idea, Donald; let’s go ahead and start WWIII and destroy humanity as the legacy of a Trump Oh, wait, none of us will be around to remember that legacy. Still, if Trump gets elected president, tell him to bring out those nukes and save us all a lot of pain. I’d take atomic annihilation of the human race over 4-8 years of his leadership.
  4. He implied the assassination of Hillary Clinton by having her “taken care of” by the “Second Amendment People.” No matter how much people like their guns in America, and how much of a walking Jerry Springer show Trump is, they’re not a mindless lynch mob (I think anyway). Speaking of mindless lynch mobs, suddenly it feels unfair to compare Trump to Jerry Springer—because Springer seems classy whenever I do.

Trump’s biggest problem for the Republicans is that he not only comes without a filter, but also without a remote control and a fairy godmother.

If he did, they could hit the “off” button and then force him to look in a mirror at his horrible hair while he chanted insults at himself. Not only would this strategy make him see how bad he looks (pun intended) while he’s condescending others, but hopefully it would force up some Hail Mary until midnight magic and get the guy to listen to their advice.

Too bad we aren’t in a cartoon, guys, because for a second there, due to his complete lack of reality during his speeches, all of the violence and talk of guns, and his animated hair, I almost thought Warner Bros. recruited Trump to be Elmer Fudd’s sidekick.

The latest reason why the G.O.P. would love to shove an old, smelly dirty sock in Trump’s mouth

Trump said he may not even want to be president if he actually manages to pull a “wabbit” out of his hair piece and win. But it will take far more than a magician and better hair to impress the RNC. Many Republicans fear association with Trump will result in re-election losses, as proven by John McCain’s current struggle to retain his seat, and are disassociating from Trump.

Also, the RNC doesn’t want to invest anymore of the raised $82 million in funds for all their re-election campaigns into Trump’s now that he’s the destructive party albatross. This talk can be heard straight from the RNC. But instead of Coleridge’s lines reverberating from them, the Republican version sounds more like: “Voters voters everywhere and all the Republicans did shrink.

/Voters, voters everywhere, and Trump won’t stop to think.” Less poetically speaking, Trump’s fired.

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