If there is one thing nice just about everybody can say about the Clintons, it’s that the both look very nice in suits. Bill Clinton in a suit is about as predictable a fashion staple as his trouble-making streak is. (No one can argue he seems to be some kind of asset to his wife—although whether he’s a good or bad one for her typically depends on the day or moment or woman. And it also depends on whether or not you mean “asset” as the entire word, or you use “ass-et” and then erase the last two letters of the word, e and t).

And of course, there’s Hillary and her pants suit fashion statement demonstration Americans see each time she speaks, a trend only embraced by her and that she’s still trying to push as a clothing trend.


So, she’s managed to lie to herself about the truth of the pant suit trend’s popularity, in typical Clinton fashion, since she seems to think it’s a great look. After all, to prove my point, she won’t stop wearing them, seems to think other women both wear and like them, and as you can see, is occasionally capable of lying herself into total delusions about things—like her non reality based capability to believe pant suits are hot and she’s a fashion trendsetter. (Always nice to have a person capable of delusions heading up the country).

Clintons are masters of the Clinton method

Besides looking good in suits, another talent of the Clintons is their application of the Clinton Method. If you don’t know what the Clinton Method is, it goes something like this:

“If you can’t make it happen lie it here; if you really made it happen, lie it away.”

This Method already worked for one President Clinton, after all, so the utilization of its Methodology must have some kind of success rate. Or, the people working with the Clintons to measure the success rate are just lying about it to make it sound better. Nobody’s really sure.

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Steps for using the Clinton method

If you want to try to use the Clinton Method just to see how effective it really is for you, since nobody has a snowball’s idea on this planet what the true success rate of the thing is due to all the fibbing surrounding it, I’ll break it down for you. Remember, to apply the Clinton Method, there is one important step you cannot ignore: you have to ignore factual reality. You know, reality is really encompassing that really annoying stuff you have to deal with in life—all the things that actually happen.  Facts and especially truth are just not important factors in this equation. So make sure you ignore them completely while you apply the Method, so that you are using the Clinton Method in its purest form.


Clinton fantasy realm

Now, create a fantasy realm of your choosing, which is really an alternate version of actual reality. So yes, another way to think about this step is to create your own reality, but make sure it’s got no truth and zero facts. To do this effectively, think of how five-year-old children play make believe games and how they are sometimes not capable of being honest. (Although to be honest, if we compared the Clintons grasp on facts, reality, and most importantly, right and wrong, I think any five-year-old child would not only win the contest on which party is more successful at using such concepts, I think any five-year-old would basically sweep the Clintons in all categories). After you’ve got some kind of grasp of that five-year-old child’s concepts, you’ve got to now lower your expectations of right, wrong, facts and truth by about ten billion, then proceed with your own misconstrued, falsified, liar’s version of whatever it is you are trying to make go away or happen depending on the lie you are imposing.

After doing that, you’ve managed to successfully apply the Clinton Method. Congratulations! But I recommend—if you want to be successful at, well, just life—I’m not really sure this is the best approach to use on a daily basis.