The much anticipated 2nd Presidential debate this evening got dirtier than expected. Both candidates enter the floor exchanging awkward head nods and blatantly avoiding physical contact at all costs; most likely since Trump grabbed someone by the 'bleep' on the bus ride over.

It begins

We dive right into the first question, which ironically is about "appropriate behavior." Hillary, proudly displays her classic Stepford Candidate with the psychotic souless eyes look, alongside the fake I-swear-I-won't-kill-you-and-your-family-like-I-did-everyone-who-was-involved-with-whitewater voice to match.

As Trump begins his answer, the deflated air exiting his mouth-hole reveals how crushed his ego still is 11 years after that married woman turned him down.

He drones on, a lifeless version of himself, while getting berated about his scandalous "locker room" bus tape. Just when it seems he's had enough and can't bear another second, he re-centers to connect with his true self. It's time to make America Great again.

Get Trumped

Trump reminds Clinton of her husbands infidelities. We can now see him livening up. He's beginning to sound like his old self. He declares her husband is a rapist and let's everyone know his victim is in the crowd today. Halloween came early for Bill this year as the look of pure horror drips down his face and he comes to the realization the internet is about to turn this into a meme fest that rivals Harambe. The life pours back into those baby blue eyes;We have our Donald back.

Clinton is surprisingly unfazed by the attack. She responds to Trump's accusations with a pile of BS. And I literally mean BS, as you can tell from the fly that lands on her head while shes spewing it.

Feel the Bern

As the debate rages on, we notice each candidate bringing up Bernie Sanders, utilizing him as a sort of "voice of reason".

Hillary makes up a lame Trump reference, even dumber than the "Trumped up trickle down" she came up with last debate. Secretary Clinton then goes on to profess, "I'm proud of the campaign Bernie Sandersand I ran. We ran a campaign based off issues not insults and he is supporting me 100%"

Well, the flies back.

This time it chills on her for a good solid minute. We thankfully wrap things up with the final question of the night asCarl Becker from the audience asks "Regardless of current rhetoric, would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another?" Hahahahaha. Hillary avoids the question completely while Trump sucks it up and commends Hillary on her persistence. The two candidates exit the stage with a handshake as America realizes how truly screwed we are this November.

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