The word of God, but not the words of Shakespeare, Emerson, Hemmingway or others, will be exempt from Florida sales taxes during the state’s “Back-To-school Sales Tax Holiday 2016.” Yes, if you buy a Bible, you will not pay taxes on it, but if you purchase Ernest Hemmingway’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” a book on at least one Florida county’s approved reading list, you will be taxed. This is just one example of the apparent conflicts in this year’s attempt by the Florida legislature and Gov. Rick Scott to lessen the financial burden on parents preparing to send children back to school.

Clothing-optional options.

Although we suspect that your daughter wearing lingerie to one of the Sunshine State’s 1,563 public high schools may be grounds for suspension or expulsion, don’t let that stop you from buying some for your returning high school student as you can purchase as many lingerie items as you like — up to a limit of $60 per item — tax free. Not to be left out, the state hasn’t forgotten your sons: Tuxedos are also tax free, although boys will have to wear them to school as garment bags are not exempt.

Weather-related items.

If you’re a parent concerned about your child getting frostbite during the brutal Florida winter months when temperatures can plummet to daytime lows of 64 degrees in January, not to worry, simply buy them a tax-free snow ski suit. But your child may still risk frostbitten toes as ski boots to go with that outfit are taxable. And in the state ranked ninth for most rainfall, you may buy your child a raincoat tax free, but not an umbrella.

Outdated thinking.

Legal pads and pens are still tax free this year in Florida, but computer paper and printer ink cartridges are not. We were unable to find any listing for stone tablets and the necessary accompanying hammer and chisel, so you’ll have to check with your local Home Depot to see if these items made the tax-free list of educational items.

Bras but not athletic masks.

Whether Florida legislatures were expressing concerns for some parts of children’s bodies and not others is anyone’s guess, but it is a fact that while bras made the list of tax-free items, protective athletic masks, football, hockey and soccer knee and elbow pads and weight-lifting belts did not.

The well-dressed girl and boy.

So, according to the Florida “Back-To-School Sales Tax Holiday 2016,” you may send your daughter to school wearing a white negligee with orange tights and red barrettes in her hair (Florida’s state colors) carrying a book bag with no books and crayons with notebook paper, but no laptop computer.

Your son will look sharp in his white bathing suit with matching hunting vest, his orange slippers and red bow tie, carrying his backpack with blank computer discs (yes, data storage CDs, remember those?), leather work gloves and his bowling shoes, but not his baseball glove or football helmet.

Where and when?

Most Florida retailers are required by law to not charge sales tax on the exempt items from August 5 to 7. If you need additional information, for example to see if Katherine Porter’s book, “Ship of Fools” is a tax-free book, contact your state legislator or Gov. Rick Scott’s office.

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