Relationships are difficult. They take time, work, effort, and cooperation. Even the wisest and most intelligent people in the world have troubles with relationships. I'm sure taking a look back at your dating past can confirm this as well. The amount of melodrama and mental aggravation that comes after you break that connection with someone you had gotten to intimately know for so long is one of the most depressing things in humanity.

These challenges become greater for those who process the world differently, and give their best efforts to function the way that society considers normal.

I am mostly referring to the neurological differenceknown as autism (and to a lesser extent Asperger's Syndrome because they are now considered part of the same spectrum). People that have to cope with this condition are mostly recognized by a lack of social skill. When I say social skill, I mean all types of face-to-face communication such as tone, verbal expression, facial expression, eye contact, etc.

In a relationship

If you find yourself considering a relationship with somebody who has autism, or are already in one, you have probably noticed some of these quirks already.

They are notably unlike any other person you've come to know. So now that you're in a position that you're considering (or are in) relationship with somebody that has autism, here are some things you need to know. Please keep in mind that people with autismare like snowflakes- no two are the same and the disorder affects everybody differently. While some of these points are general, they will not work for everyone.

  • He/she is not necessarily uninterested. Individuals with autismhave a lot of trouble in communicating how they feel for another person as well as understanding subtle romantic gestures. If they for some reason do not hold your hand or verbally say "I love you", that doesn't mean they don't like you. Most likely they are communicating it some other way. Find out what that is.
  • Always explain your feelings and be specific. Autistic people aren't generally good on picking up other's emotions. So when you're upset or bothered, don't give the silent treatment, that will wreak havoc on their thinking process. Instead clearly explain what's going on, especially if they did something that hurt you. They'll never know if you don't tell them. The same rules apply on social media and texting.
  • He/she will have quirks. Almost every person with autismhas something specific about them that they simply do not like. Some don't like social events, others hate talking on the phone, and some even have serious sleeping trouble. If you notice odd behaviors like this, it's probably related to autism. If it bothers you greatly, refer back to point 2.
  • Don't manipulate him/her or lie. Those with autism are very calm and forgiving people, but if you deceive them, you'll be lucky if you ever gain their trust back. Autistic people are very intelligent and are inside of their heads a lot. If they let you in on what they're thinking, you're very special to them. If you betray that trust, it's like spitting in their faces.

Do not discourage!

Just because somebody has autism shouldn't discourage you from being in a relationship with them.

They are no less of people than you and me. They are different, but they offer a whole new way of looking at the world; and who knows? You just might learn a thing or two.

If you want to learn more about autism, I suggest you start by checking out "We'll Get By" by Johnny Orr Band below. It's a beautiful piece.

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