Let us look at how it it all began the first time that Nigel Farage went to the White House to visit his friend President Trump #Donald Trump used social media . Between a frog leg and some quite decent whiskey the British politician complained about the “aussies” not acting fairly. Shortly after the President sent a tweet that caused outrage in Vienna. It took three days to explain to the President that Farage was talking about a cricket match between England and Australia and not negotiations for Brexit.

The next two times did not go any better. The first resulted in a generic complaint about the “Huns” and the second about the “dirty wogs” that came out of comments by Farage between the tacos and the hamburgers. Thankfully nobody understood the specific references in the tweets and they died a quiet death. However, from then on the world’s secret services marked Farage’s visits to his friend as a day off and therefore not to be acted upon, at least that was the intention.

Trump and the world

The real troubles began when the President decided to intercede personally with countries where the personality cult around the Leader was even bigger than his own ego. His tweets about Zimbabwe did not cause much trouble as Robert Mugabe had passed away shortly before seeing the tweet dedicated to him. As for Azerbaijan, its President Ilham Aliyev and Donald Trump began with an exchange of tweets about who had the bigger portraits made of themselves and this quickly degenerated into a discussion about hand sizes which drew the attention of satirists around the world. The argument was only settled when Russia’s Vladimir Putin intervened and dedicated the Bako new golf course named after both Presidents.

The nomination of Nigel Farage as Trump’s personal security adviser was met with dismay, especially all the world's secret services which saw their overtime expenses suddenly skyrocket. All the complaints were answered in a 4am tweet that said that it was good enough for America to have had a German advisor in the past and at least the Brit had an accent that was nearly comprehensible. It was Farage who suggested the four tweets that almost led to the cancellation of Brexit after they offended virtually every government in Europe and the threat by the Queen to unleash her corgis on Farage if he ever ventured near the palace again. Farage’s replacement was announced in a 5am tweet that made world headlines.

Trump and the war of tweets

Yet the worst came when #Donald Trump decided to tackle the one person in the world whose ego was bigger than his. Korea’s #Kim Jong Un decided to test the mettle of the new American leadership, only for Ivanka Trump to intercede with an offer to build a Casino where only the third generation dictator could play. This seemed to lead to appease the Supreme Leader and the plans went ahead until the inevitable tweet came from the White House, unfortunately at midday Pyongyang time, stating that the Casino could have no name but Trump in its title.

This time neither Putin, nor the Chinese leadership which was fed up with both leaders, would intervene.

The tweet that declared war on the recalcitrant and not nice dictator was the last of an exchange that would enter the History book as the most childish display of diplomacy in World History. The war lasted only the time it took for the first Korean missile to explode before reaching its national borders. Trump’s tweet of victory was greeted by silence as Kim Jong Un pretended that nothing had happened and the Korean foreign ministry announced another successful test launch of the world’s most advanced nuclear missile. The following day #Twitter addressed the issue on #Twitter was secretly taken offline by the C.I.A. and the President was forced to employ a press staff for his announcements.

Well, students, as we look back on the period of Trump’s Presidency you all now understand why in 2017 the United Nations decided to end the use of the social media by the World’s leaders.