Just when you thought the #2016 Presidential Election couldn't possibly hit a new low, The National Enquirer came out Wednesday with a 9-page cover story claiming that Hillary Clinton paid personal assistants to arrange adulterous trysts with both men and women.

This revelation comes from a man who claims to be a "fixer" for the Clinton family -- a person whose job it is to cover up scandals and sweep things under the rug. The fixer alleges that, in 1994, he assisted Clinton by helping her slip out a rear exit of a Hollywood film studio in order to meet another woman for a sexual encounter at a Beverly Hills hotel.

Fixer tells all

The fixer, who has supposedly provided proof of his employment by the Clintons to #The Enquirer, also claims that he also helped Hillary cover up an affair with Vince Foster. Other fixes he claims to have worked on include covering up Bill's dalliances with prostitutes and a plot to seek revenge against Monica Lewinsky.

However, it's the girl-on-girl action that The Enquirer story plays up, with a banner across the cover stating that it is the "explosive story that will change the election." But this, of course, begs the question: will anyone care?

It's hard to believe that one more October surprise in a long line of October surprises will move the needle one bit for Donald Trump. In fact, it's quite possible that this "bombshell" story will have the opposite effect.

Bombshell might be a dud

Since Republicans are to the LGBTQ community as what garlic is to vampires, it's nonsensical to believe that any self-respecting lesbian will be turned off by the prospect of a female Democratic presidential candidate hooking up with other females, even if the Democrat in question happens to wear pantsuits and screw curmudgeonly socialists out of convention delegates.

If The Enquirer really wanted to besmirch the reputation of #Hillary Clinton, they should have made Hillary's lover not a female, but a hairy-chested lumberjack who drives a large SUV and smokes unfiltered cigarettes. Or a Vietnam veteran who lost his legs and operates a shrimp boat and makes donations to Republican political candidates. Or, better yet, a real estate mogul from New York who has a habit of accidentally entering contestant's dressing rooms during beauty pageants.

Now there's a story that would really besmirch Hillary's reputation.