Everyone has or will meet a manipulative person in their life. This is a person that thrives on duality and hides behind lies. They tell you one thing but mean another. The secret weapon behind this person's tactics is the trigger.
What are triggers?
Triggers are sometimes called buttons. They're the little things that people say to you that garner a reaction. For instance, one might bring up a deceased friend in order to stir up feeling of sadness. Another might bring up a past mistake to cultivate feeling of guilt. In either case, these triggers are used to control a person and as long as that person does not deal with these triggers, he or she will always be at the mercy of their manipulators.
Now it's important to remember that triggers aren't always negative. Often times manipulators like to keep their targets in a state of constant unease, so they will fluctuate from a positive emotion to a negative emotion. An example of this is to perhaps bring up a person's child in order to stir up feelings of love followed by bringing up an irritating issue such as a mean relative. The point of going back and forth from a positive trigger to a negative trigger is to make a person seem unstable. Now this might sound weird, but there really is no crime against saying something to irritate a person. So in this instance, the manipulator can say things that irritate you all day. They may not even have to use your name. They could insert someone else's name and create a situation that is similar to yours and say the irritating comment just as you are passing by. This way the manipulator gets the added benefit of harassing you without you being able to prove that they are harassing you. That's manipulation 101.
Boasting: The next level of manipulation
Now it's anybody's guess why someone would want to be a manipulator. In most cases, envy is the cause. You have something that the other person wants and in order to wrestle it away from you, the manipulator tries to make you feel small. That's where the next level of manipulation comes in. It's when the manipulator boasts about his or her accomplishments and makes your accomplishments look small in comparison, so that everything you do seems stupid and everything that they do seems smart and brave. In this situation it's important to remember that if the manipulator really was brave to begin when, he or she would start by being authentic. Anyone who has to hide who they are to get what they want is a coward and a phony from the start and since they are a phony, there is no reason to fear them.
Now this might seem abnormal but anything can be a trigger. It's really not about the object itself, but more so about the feelings that it evokes. So the manipulator could bring up something that's not hurtful or doesn't even cause you to feel pain, but the fact that they constantly bring it up can be irritating, thereby making it a trigger. When the manipulator begins to bombard you with triggers, this is called harassment and that is a crime. It's a crime that's difficult to prove, but it's a crime. If you feel that you are being harassed, it's important to report it to the proper authorities so that your manipulator learns that this behavior is not acceptable.
Dealing with triggers
As for you, the best way to deal with the manipulator in the meantime is to address and rid yourself of these triggers. Why are they making you mad, sad, angry, happy or remorseful? The more you explore these complicated triggers in your own life, the more you will learn about yourself and the less control your manipulator will have over you. This is the way that your manipulator can become your best friend because he or she will always bring up your weakest points. Even if he or she brings up your strongest points, it's still insight into what makes you tick. So don't sweat anything the manipulator says. Remember, he or she is probably jealous of you and that, is the biggest compliment of all.#Health